Wednesday, 13 February 2013

Mommy Fail #16

I was on Pinterest this morning ("What?", you cry, "As if!") while my baby had a disappointingly short nap (again, "What?". Oh yes) and came across this little gem :

6 changes to my every day life to cement eternal happiness. I thought to myself, that looks easy enough; I'll start today! Now, what is important to note is I'm still being woken 1.5-2 hourly overnight for a feed, napping during the day is a little haphazard, and our bedtime routine from start to finish is about 3 hours. The lady who writes this blog has grown children. So, you know. She gets some sleep. She also gets paid to blog this crap, while I whittle away the hours blogging for free when I really should be attaching chalkboard labels to everything in my craft cupboard and whipping up decoupage picture frames.

So here's my attempt at her "ridiculously easy, free, life changing habits" (Day 1... Just kidding. Day.):

1. Walk: Hmm. Seems straight forward enough, right? Well, with the pram out of action, I had to strap on the ol' Baby Bjorn. Not too bad, but given my persistent lower back pain, I can only handle strapping 7kg of wriggling baby to my front for about 15 minutes. But I did it. And did I feel good after? Not really. I needed a couple of panadol and a lie down.

2. Water: Fill 8 glasses with water at the start of the day, you say? I don't think we own 8 water glasses. Wine glasses, yes, but I figured this would lead to a desire to fill the wine glasses with the sweet elixir for which they were intended (also, I didn't want to offend them). I decided on one glass (I usually drink from a water bottle) and filled it after each drink. I made about 2 glasses, then forgot about it and drank from my water bottle anyway. I'm going to count this as a success, although I have no idea how much I actually had.

3. Time Yourself (on the internet): Firstly, who has a kitchen timer? Secondly, I had intended only to go online when O was sleeping. Today was one of his "sleep is for the weak!" days, and 3 blocks of 10-20 minutes is not enough time to read all the mommy blogs out there (one of those sleeps was on me, so I couldn't even log on!).

4. Eat Fresh: Well, I can be forgiven for the PB on toast for brekkie, given I hadn't stumbled across this recipe for a perfect life at that stage. I had a lovely salmon and salad roll, which I had made while O was happy and had it ready-to-go. Pretty good, I thought. Probably the Vita Britz for dinner wasn't really what she would consider eating 'fresh', but they hit the spot. Counting the amount of chocolate I have had is about as useful as counting how many hours I spend online in a 24 hour period, so I haven't bothered with that.

5. Work off a list: I used to do this when I was working. It was helpful, but often you needed other people to be on board to ensure certain things were done (eg "Call Joe" can only be crossed of your list if Joe actually answers his phone). This is the case when staying at home with kids, except the list is longer, there are no scheduled breaks and, well, you don't get much further than "get up, get dressed" some days ("keeping child/ren alive" is a given. If you have to write that one down, you've got bigger problems than not drinking 8 glasses of water a day).

6. Decent bedtime: Pfft.

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